Funny thing how timing works sometimes. I've had this post on my mind for at least a month, and now that I'm ready to post it, it is right on the heels of something that is going on in my life that I've struggled with how to share here.
Before I do that, though, I'd like to delve a bit into what it means to be authentic. Being authentic means being our 'real' selves, which includes our values, opinions, and convictions, the essence of who we are. In real life, depending on the nature of the relationships we have, people know our names, history, experiences, beliefs, etc. It goes without saying that the closer we are to someone and to the degree with which we are willing to share personal information with them, the more they will know about us and vice versa. We make the choice of what to share with whom based on a variety of factors.
Here in Blogland, it's different, naturally, by virtue of the anonymity we have chosen to adopt, given the personal and sensitive nature of TTWD. People can have a hard enough time being authentic in real life, let alone on the blogs. Here we are anonymous, so we might think it's safe to say anything because no one knows who we really are. Yet we are real people in real life relationships and marriages, and the essence of who we are comes through if we are being honest with ourselves and others. So even though you have no idea who my husband J is, for instance, it is important to me that I portray him accurately and that you know how much I love and respect him.
Many of us have found it hard to share the mistakes we and/or our HOH's have made. At times I've felt hindered by the fact that you don't know me...that you only know a part of me here. You can't hear the inflection/tone in my voice, see the expression on my face, or see the way I am with my family and friends....so I've worried that in the absence of that, wrong assumptions or judgments could be made. We feel badly when we mess up, do things we shouldn't do, disobey or disrespect our husbands, and worse......hurt them. It's uncomfortable for us to talk about, but if we don't, how will we learn and grow?
If we share only the good and not the bad and the ugly, we rob ourselves of the opportunity to let others support, encourage, and help us. We also rob others of the opportunity to be of help to us. It's much easier to be on the giving end than the receiving end, isn't it? It requires humility and vulnerability, which often takes us out of our comfort zone.
If we're willing to take the risk of being real about our situations, thoughts, and emotions, we, too, can know the blessing of being accepted, understood, and encouraged. We'll learn that we're not alone. We'll learn how helpful it is to hear others' perspectives.
And we'll realize that we are all works in progress, every one of us.