Since the incident I wrote about in my last post, Kane and I tried discussing what happened on two occasions. Neither went well. We needed more time.
This morning, while I was at a couple of appointments, he wrote this down. We don't often communicate this way, but every once in a while, it proves to be a cathartic experience, and this time was no exception.
With Kane's permission, here is what he wrote (it was he who chose the red text):
I have been thinking about this a lot over the last two days, and I am beginning to see that maybe it's me who has the blinders on. I really didn’t have any bad intentions when I made the statement about not talking about the kids exclusively. I just wanted to protect you because I have been concerned about you over the last several days. You have done a tremendous job in talking with all the different professionals where the kids are concerned. I AM very PROUD of you.
Is it my stubbornness coming through this time? More than likely. I am examining how I say things to you. I will not make any excuses. You have clearly told me over time how my tone and inflection make a difference in how express myself to you and the kids. It is something I will really try to change for the future. You have made great strides in the changes you have made in how you express yourself to me and all you are asking me is to do the same. I don’t think that is a lot to ask; this is yet another thing I will change to honor you as you have honored me as a very giving wife.
I love you very much my dear and would do anything to love, honor and protect you.
As we dug deeper, we were able to talk about the how's and why's, and what we need from each other, which I'll most likely share in another post, as I hope it will be helpful to others going through something similar. Who knows? Maybe I'll be able to talk Kane into posting something.....
Thank you so much for all your support :)