Since the incident I wrote about in my last post, Kane and I tried discussing what happened on two occasions. Neither went well. We needed more time.
This morning, while I was at a couple of appointments, he wrote this down. We don't often communicate this way, but every once in a while, it proves to be a cathartic experience, and this time was no exception.
With Kane's permission, here is what he wrote (it was he who chose the red text):
My Darling,
I have been thinking about this a lot over the last two
days, and I am beginning to see that maybe it's me who has the blinders on. I
really didn’t have any bad intentions when I made the statement about not
talking about the kids exclusively. I just wanted to protect you because I have
been concerned about you over the last several days. You have done a tremendous
job in talking with all the different professionals where the kids are
concerned. I AM very PROUD of you.
Is it my stubbornness coming through this time? More
than likely. I am examining how I say things to you. I will not make any
excuses. You have clearly told me over time how my tone and inflection make a
difference in how express myself to you and the kids. It is something I will really
try to change for the future. You have made great strides in the changes you
have made in how you express yourself to me and all you are asking me is to do
the same. I don’t think that is a lot to ask; this is yet another thing I will
change to honor you as you have honored me as a very giving wife.
I love you very much my dear and would do anything to
love, honor and protect you.
As we dug deeper, we were able to talk about the how's and why's, and what we need from each other, which I'll most likely share in another post, as I hope it will be helpful to others going through something similar. Who knows? Maybe I'll be able to talk Kane into posting something.....
Thank you so much for all your support :)
There is nothing and I do mean nothing stronger, more amazing or sexier than a man who can say when he missed the mark, see an area that needs shoring up and commit to working on it. My heart just melted. I am so glad to see this. I have thought about you guys, as this is something The Man and I struggle with too
ReplyDeleteAh, Dana, thank you. I agree with you. I showed Kane your comment, and he really appreciated it :)
DeleteI am sending good thoughts to you and The Man. I think this is something that most couples struggle with from time to time.
Hugs,
Sadie
Beautiful post. So glad to see communication made a difference even if it took a few days. That is exactly where we are at in the moment. I hope we will be able to resolve our differences as well.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Catherine. Sometimes these situations do take longer than we'd like, and the waiting it out is tough, isn't it?
DeleteSorry to hear you and your husband are in a tough spot. I'm sure you'll be able to come to a resolution :)
This is adorable! I'm so happy to read that you two are in a better place now. :) Sometimes writing things down like that can be such a helpful way to go about it!
ReplyDeleteWe've found that to be the case sometimes, Kenzie. It hasn't always worked this well, but we're really glad it did this time!
DeleteHugs,
Sadie
I'm so glad you worked it out! His note was very sweet. I hope Kane will post something sometime.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Leah! You know what? He did write something he asked me to post. I'm going to do that in just a bit :)
DeleteAhhhhhhh.. So sweet. Glad he found a way to communicate in a fashion that would help the two of you get through this rough spot. Awesome that he also was able to see a place he needed to work on and even gave you praise for all your work in the relationship too. :0)
ReplyDeleteI was so blessed by that, Leah. As I said in my post, his words reached directly into my heart. My heart immediately melted :)
DeleteHugs,
Sadie
OH Sadie, what a beautiful letter from him. I hope you guys keep working things out, keep talking, and keep moving forward. :) So happy for you. :)
ReplyDelete{{{hugs}}} EsMay
Thank you, Es May, me too!
DeleteHugs,
Sadie