Kane asked me to share this (written yesterday) with you all:
I am sitting here watching the basketball game while my wonderful wife is upstairs watching T.V. There are some of you that are aware of our story with our younger children, (my step-children) and the last several months have been incredibly stressful for us. One of the things that has gotten us through this period has been our participation in TTWD. It has taken me a period of 3 plus years to really understand what all this is about; a long time but well worth the effort. I am a man who likes to lead from upfront and be in control; I am an alpha male.
I was raised by an old school type of father - he was 53 years old when I was born, a product of the Great Depression. He taught me about respect and boy did I learn my lesson at 12 years old. I told my mother to go get me a drink of milk, he rushed over to me, lifted me off the ground with one of his strong hands wrapped around my shirt and said " that is your mother, not your maid." Needless to say I learned my lesson to always treat my mother and really any woman with respect. My father never hit me or put his hands on me again, lesson learned...
When my wife and I started off in this dynamic I struggled with that fine line of being taught to respect and protect women, especially your wife and having to discipline her when you feel she has crossed the line. I was very confused to say the least; am I not supposed to protect my wife? Now I have to spank someone who is my equal in every way; doesn’t this go against everything I have been taught? What a struggle, how did I get into this and do I really think I can be a spanko?
Well, suffice it to say loud and proud, I AM A SPANKO! What a crazy world this is, but I digress. My wife is a strong-willed person. She is many things: intelligent, caring, loving, giving and much more. My best friend, (with benefits) the only person in the world I trust 100% and she tells me my magic tricks and woodworking projects are good and she says this with great inflection in her voiceJ The one thing she needs, someone even more strong-willed than her. A man who will respect her, love her and of course lead her. I can finally say that the dynamic is natural, it's part of our everyday lives. It heightens my awareness to what she needs; what we need in our relationship. I take it as an honor that she trusts me enough with this gift; she wouldn’t give the reins over to just any man. My wife needs to know that I won't back down when she is stressed or disrespectful. I will give a maintenance spanking when she is out of sorts and I will issue the discipline spanking if she crosses the line. It has taken me a few years to understand my role in all this. I know I am not a domineering type, but I now get that when I am dominant, my wife feels safer and more secure. I love to protect her, It's an incredible feeling when I know she feels protected, I get so much from her when she is in this place.