Friday, December 13, 2013

Dr. HOH

I've been checking on my bruises each day to see if they're fading enough for me to feel reasonably comfortable when I go to my gynecologist appointment on Monday.  Can 'comfortable' and 'gynocologist' be in the same sentence together?  What woman ever feels comfortable going to the gynecologist, even without worrying about the state of her bum?  J and I were both surprised that I even bruised at all, because he had spanked me over my clothes (well, he may have lifted my skirt at one point, but my tights and panties stayed up), and even though the swats were quite hard, he didn't spank too long because he knew of my appointment.  That was on Sunday.

The bruises aren't very big at all, and this time there are a couple that ended up in a weird spot which doesn't really make sense with the way he spanked me.  One is the size of a nickel and is right in the spot where my two cheeks meet -- yep -- just slightly to the right of the dividing line (aka the butt crack...lol).  There were two other much smaller dots along there on the left side, too, but they're gone now.  How those even formed the way they did is beyond me because of the way J spanked.  He spanked me with his hand only, yet the one bruise looks like a thumbprint.  There was also a little bruising on my left upper cheek.

Anyway, since tomorrow is Saturday, I knew today had to be the day to decide whether to go forth with my appointment on Monday or call to reschedule, since the office policy is to give 24 hours' notice of cancellation.

This morning, as I was doing a self-inspection, I could only see my backside from the hand mirror I was holding.  I needed to know how it would look from the doctor's viewpoint.

Honey, I'm gonna need your help, please.  In case these bruises are not gone by Monday, I need to know if the doctor will be able to see them.  You be the doctor, and I'll set myself up on the bed, OK?


Sure.


First I need to know if when I'm sitting up like this, is that one bruise visible?


J walked around the bed until he was behind me.


Nope.


Are you sure?


Honey, I can't see anything at all.


OK.  Now I have to lay down and position myself as if I were on an examining table, stirrups and all.  You need to be at eye level, Honey.


J knelt down.


Wait a minute, I have to scooch down toward the edge of the bed.  The doc always tells me to scooch down.


OK -- I'm ready.


Can't see anything, my darling.


Are you sure?  Wait, just to be on the safe side, I'll lift my legs higher and wider apart.  How 'bout now?


Still nothing.  I think you're safe.


I thanked my Honey for his thorough inspection, for which he told me I would soon be receiving his fee  ;-)


We laughed about it and got ready for the day.


Later on in the afternoon, J recalled the scene and started laughing again.


You know, you just can't make this stuff up.......



Yep -- TTWD is quite the adventurous journey, isn't it? 














12 comments:

  1. Yeah when swats land in 'the divide' bruising seems to happen. I would suspect it is because that area is not 'primed' or used to being spanked. I am experiencing that right now from the 'Naughty' spatula. Sigh.
    Sadie, have you ever used Arnica Gel? I used to use it but I don' t really require it anymore. It really does work to reduce bruising and ridding your body of them sooner.
    Have fun at the OBGYN! LOL. Enjoy the cat poster on the ceiling with the " hang in there" caption under it as it looks like it is going to fall out of a tree! I wish my doctor would put something to READ up there! Or recipes!!
    willie
    PS...I am surprised you were allowed to 'get on with your day' after those positions~!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So one way to take care of bruising in the great divide would be to be primed there more often......Hmmm.....think I'd rather go with Arnica! I have used Arnica before, Willie, for larger and darker bruises but didn't even think of it for these. Oh, well, they are mostly gone by now......Phew!

      I agree there should be something interesting to read on the ceiling at the gyno's office. Not so sure about recipes, 'cause how would we copy them down in that position? LOL Maybe some 'Did you know?' tidbits about such and such.

      As for being allowed to get on with my day, it's funny, because J had been all dressed and ready to go on a walk in the bitter cold. He had to take his boots off to come in and inspect me. I had just about jumped into the shower when I called him in to our room. If not for an appointment I had to get ready for, I think we most likely would have dilly dallied and had some fun :)

      Delete
  2. Small bruises like the random spot arent likely to arouse concern because some people bruise so easily they have no idea how they get the bruises all over. But if there is ever a concern, you might just borrow a line from Sarah Silverman who said to her mother who was alarmed at a handprint bruise on her bum, "Oh, I'm sleeping with a man who likes to spank me,"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Anonymous, so glad you stopped by and left a comment. Who's Sarah Silverman and how did that line work for her? LOL

      If you should leave a comment again some time, would you consider using an initial so I could personalize you just a bit?

      Delete
  3. Oh goodness this was great. I loved reading it and had such a good laugh. It
    reminds me of SM and I. He loves being the doctor when I need him to for whatever reason! He has one of those headlamp things too... the kind for hunting. Makes a funny bed scene though!

    Thanks for the giggles.

    sara :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A headlamp, eh? Come to think of it, J has one that he's used for camping and crawling into dark places and spaces.......hmmmmm. :)

      Delete
  4. I can sometimes bruise and at other times I am certain that my bottom will be black and blue for a week and then there's nothing there. There seems to be no rhyme or reason to it. When it does happen though it is often down one side of that divide! I've never had a planned appointment like this but do sometimes wonder what I would say if there was some sort of emergency that led me to hospital.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're right about there being no rhyme or reason to it, Janey. There've been times for me, too, where I was sure there would be bruising and there was nothing, and then the exact opposite. I guess I'm learning something about the great divide and what a sensitive area it is!

      Delete
  5. No, you really can't make stuff up like that. I particularly like that he is requiring payment at a later date.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep........I certainly don't mind paying those kinds of bills!

      Delete
  6. OMG Sadie, I was laughing so hard reading this! I can just picture the whole scene. Luke does an "inspection" every time a bruise happens. Every morning, until it's gone, he makes me bend over and show him the backside before I get dressed. Just gotta laugh--yep this has turned into my everyday normal life. Good grief, lol Clara

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah......my definition of 'normal' has definitely changed, Clara! Who'da thunk these things before we started this interesting journey? Certainly not MOI!

      Delete