Monday, March 10, 2014

Somewhere Between Meh and Bleh

The past couple of weeks are a blur.  I haven't had time for blogging, although I did manage, here and there, to read a few posts.  I haven't had time to comment, which really bummed me out, because many of you wrote great posts that I wanted to comment on.  Oh, and I didn't even answer the comments I got on my last post.  Please forgive me, and know that I was with you in spirit.

So, for the brief update.........The battle continues.  The system continues to fight us on what we believe is best for our daughter and our family.  But there's something they're discovering in the process......... 












or you'll see a side of me you haven't seen before..........










Last week we had a meeting in a room much like this.........






The only difference is that, at our meeting, there were just three tables -- so picture it minus the one in the foreground.  The seats were filled.  We totaled 12 in number.  It was us (along with our attorney and an advocate from a parent group we belong to) against them.


Then, this past week, we were in a different kind of setting..........






We have another reprieve in that we are going forth with getting an evaluation for our daughter that the system is against.  

The main reason I had so little time for blogging is that I was working on putting together documentation and cross referencing it with information in a book that is written for mental health professionals (which I am not!).  










I was very fortunate, however, to have the help of a professional we're working with (not part of the 'system'), who was actually the one who suggested I do this.  She said it would be very important for the court to have.  Once she outlined what it was I needed to do, it was much better, and, by the grace of God, I got it done.  Time will tell if it ends up helping us achieve the desired outcome we're praying for.

In the midst of this, Kane and I had what seemed like umpteen appointments and meetings to go to for ourselves and our kiddos.  Throw in the fact that I was sick for two weeks (and needed to spend a few days in bed) and well...........it was NOT fun.  Next court date isn't for a couple of months, so I hope this means a bit of a reprieve for now.

So things should be better, right?  Well, in one way, yes.  But my hubby and I have had a rough week that started out something like this:















Usually by now, we'd have managed to work it through, find resolution, and move forward.









I did say 'usually'.


This time we're stuck at an impasse.  Different kind of impasse, too.  We tried discussing the matter last week, to no avail.  Interestingly, there hasn't been any Dd dynamic going on to speak of, with the exception of Kane reminding me once that I had not asked his permission to do something I was doing.  He told me to stop, I did, and that was the end of it.  I did say something about writing my thoughts to him, and I haven't done it yet.  I've done it before, and it's usually not hard for me to do.  I've tried a couple of times, but there's no flow.  So I'm waiting.


In the meantime, I know just the thing that I could go for right now......



















I don't think I've mentioned that I love singing karaoke, have I?



Oh, and maybe while we're at it, we could have a Mary Kay party....













You know, like we used to way back when..........











Lord knows, I could use a diversion.  Care to join me?




15 comments:

  1. Gosh hon, you are amazing. I know as parents we will fight for our kids no matter what.
    It is hard to keep it all together when everything seems to be against us. You are due a bit of relief and good news!
    I hope you and Kane can get out one night and just concentrate on yourselves! You need it!
    I am thinking of you all and praying!

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    1. Ah, Minelle, you're so sweet. I wish there were a pill we could take that would temporarily allow us to forget the present problems so that when we go out, it won't creep back into the conversation......just for the duration of the date!!!

      Thank you for keeping us in your prayers. It means a lot to us :)

      Hugs,
      Sadie

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  2. Yes I will join you. :) I hope things will go well with the information you put together
    and that soon there will be a resolution that is helpful. Prayers,

    sara

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    1. Thank you, Sara; I appreciate your kind words :)

      Hugs,
      Sadie

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  3. You know I'll be your diversion whenever you want! Although I am more of a hot pink eye shadow kind of girl.

    I am happy that the end of last week gave you what you needed for your daughter ( if I am reading that right...this speaking in code stuff is hard..lol). I can understand how you would find it difficult or the energy to write to Kane when you were so exhausted mentally and emotionally from all the external pressure. Hopefully you will find your words soon...If not, ya know ....I'll just give them to you! *wink*

    Talk to you soon I hope.
    love
    willie

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    1. Hey, nothing wrong with hot pink.......remember Pinky Tuscadero from Happy Days?

      Yes, let's talk soon. Anytime would be great......always a pleasure, Willie :)

      Love,
      Sadie

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  4. Oh and don't worry about not answering our comments, you are usually so good about that. As long as we know you read them, that is good enough for me. Don't make us another 'thing to do'...

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    1. You all could never be just another 'thing to do', but thank you for your understanding :)

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  5. With all that, I think you should be glad that you're even remembering to breathe. Hopefully you and Kane can sit down and have a good heart to heart soon, whether about DD or not. DD can be hard to keep up as well when there is a lot of stress, so if I it's not working like you want right now, that is okay.

    EsMay

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    1. Gee, Es May, when you put it that way, it makes me feel better -- thank you. Kane and I talked about it today and will be doing more talking. We both believe good things will come from all of this.

      Hugs,
      Sadie

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  7. I'm real glad you have a bit of a recess on some of the stress and therefore some time to work things out with Kane. Isn't it strange that in the moment it seems like it is SO important to declare who is right and who is wrong? In the end it doesn't really matter so much. We need to find that quieter space with them where all that stuff strips away. I hope you get that real soon Sadie.

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    1. I know what you mean, Susie, and you're right that, on so many occasions, it doesn't really matter, as much as we think it does, who is right. There are some times, though, when it does, and of course, that goes for both our husbands and ourselves. At the heart of this particular issue was the manner in which Kane interpreted what I was saying. He (like all of us at one time or another) tends to have a 'default' defensive reaction, especially when it comes to something that strikes a nerve. When that happens, which, in other areas, it really doesn't happen much at all, he is convinced, despite my attempts at clarification, that the way he sees it is right. When it comes to not being able to hear with understanding what our partner is trying to convey to us, that makes it so very hard to continue to have a meaningful conversation, at least for us. And then when emotion starts to take over (on both sides) during the initial conversation as well as the subsequent ones, it seems not only non-productive, but detrimental.

      We've found, at times such as these, that time and space are needed. We did talk about everything the other day and were able to do so in the right way. What came out of this is that we recognize the need to take a deeper look at how we do TTWD and what we need, both individually and as a couple. The word that comes to mind is 're-vamping'. We feel really good about it, and I'm really looking forward to the growth (although I know that personal growth often comes as a result of going through some difficult and even painful times.

      *Sigh* Don't you just wish we could snap our fingers sometimes instead of going through all this stuff?

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  8. Hey Sadie...Happy you were able to 'win' a bit against the system. Be easy on yourself and Kane...you two are under so much stress and fighting so much for your daughter and family...maybe you just can't relax and come out of 'fight mode'.

    It might help if you and Kane found some time for a night just for the two of you.

    Sending lots of prayers and positive energy.

    Blessings...
    Cat

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    1. Thank you, Cat. Kane and I had a good talk about it the other day and are continuing to work on better ways of communicating, especially in the way we 'hear' each other. Most of the time we do that without any difficulty, but when it comes to areas of sensitivity (for either or both), therein lies the great challenge.

      We are looking forward to a night out soon. And next month is our anniversary -- we discussed going away for a couple of days :)

      Hugs,
      Sadie

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